Almost two months now and I've been feeling pretty good. Until Tuesday. Having avoided gluten in all foods, mostly avoiding dairy, I think I was getting a little cocky with how good I've been feeling. I've been able to exercise quite regularly, and last week I played sports for over an hour without feeling like a wet noodle when finished. That's something I haven't been able to do for a long time!
I spent last Tuesday editing a large project, and sat in one spot for long periods of time. Other than the obvious, what else does one do while working?? Eat, of course. I worked through the typical list: fruit, chips, gluten-free cookies, juice, more cookies, water, nuts and dried fruit. Boring...I needed chocolate. Not the permitted 70% almost dairy-free cacao bar, but something a little more...seductive. After a long, computer-glazed stare into the fridge, a chocolate bar jumped out at me. I've always told my 15 year old son that food DOESN'T do that when you stand with the fridge door open, but I take that back. This Skor bar swacked me in the face on its way out. There's a bruise above my eyebrow to prove it.
I ate the Skor bar. I didn't enjoy it as much as I thought I would, but that's probably because I scarfed it down like, say, a teenage boy--in 3 bites. Seriously. Usually I let it melt a little on my tongue but it had been so long!
Dumb idea.
As used to happen, the pain started just before dinner, and like I used to hope, I ate food thinking maybe it would settle the chaos. Didn't happen. I made another big mistake: I left the comfort of my home and headed to the movies.
There's no need to describe the pain, but I do need to admit that I realize I was really, really dumb.
I have a good friend who is a nurse, and she warned me from the beginning that it was going to be hard to go cold-turkey. In response to her advice, I began filling my cupboards with any and all sorts of gluten-free/dairy-free goodies. Really, I've purchased everything in Jakarta that I could find labeled "gluten-free." Some of it's good, some of it led me on the evil path to the Skor chocolate bar.
Lesson learned: I might need chocolate, but I need to be healthy more. Life is too short to compromise an evening with my husband and some friends because of a craving. I've got to keep reminding myself that it's all about the big picture, not about the here and now.
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