It's been 9 months since my diagnosis and I thought it would get easier. It has, in some ways. I have a basic diet that I stick to, I fill in the gaps with new ideas, some that work and some that I won't touch again. I love the black bean brownie recipe I found on the internet and have adjusted to my taste. Tris' cousin sent me a super recipe for GF french bread, and my family loves it better than regular bread. I try to eat eggs, although I think they're gross here for some reason, and eat a lot of pasta and home made soups. Salads are quite often my mainstay during the day, and I like to make enough to last me for at least 3 or 4 days. Beans, especially garbanzo and black, have become my new best friends in the kitchen. I even have an iced lemon tea recipe that I make at least once a week that my family loves as well. It's all good, but it's all happening in my own kitchen. I'm beginning to really miss restaurants and other people's homes. I love to entertain and it's a great challenge, one I am not afraid of, to feed others from my gluten-free (mostly) kitchen. It just gets hard feeling like you're doing it on your own.
I remember when I first started looking up Celiac disease on the internet. There was one site that suggested a myriad of types of doctors and support that a Celiac needed to consider having in their lives. The ones I remember are family doctor, specialist, nutritionist and psychologist. I thought that the last one was kind of funny, but as time goes on, I can see why it could be a good idea. There's a lot to sort out with being celiac, and the physical is just one of the pieces of the pie (gluten-free of course). There's a lot of mind adjustments that have to occur, and it's difficult trying to do this on your own.
My week has been difficult, and I'm never sure if all the sleeping and illness is from something I ate or if it's from a bug that my body is fighting. There's really no way to find out and so I eat extra-cautiously, extra bland, and I wait until this particular fight is over.
There are some really, really good, exciting things happening in my life right now, things that keep me focused on life and learning, and things that give me joy. I am thankful for doors opening up in my life and am excited to see where life will take me in my future. However, there's always that bit of me that holds back, always cautious, always wondering if I can make it through the day when my body is just wanting me to rest and my day is full and rest isn't an option. There are the days when I truly feel 'frail,' a word that I used to jokingly bounce around with my husband when I wanted him to do something for me. Now the word doesn't seem so funny. There are other days when I feel strong, energetic, and like I can tackle the world. Right now I'm wishing I had more of those days.
Thanks for reading.
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