2000 Calorie Daily Intake

The other day I was at a social event and a friend tapped me on the shoulder. "You're too skinny. You need to stop," she said to me.  My response, "I'm trying."

I seriously am trying.  The other day my husband Tris looked up how many calories I should be eating per day, based on my height and my ideal weight (according to my ideals), and I should be eating 2000 calories.  Sounds easy, right?  If you can eat fast food, you can cover 1500 calories in a basic meal alone.  If you want healthy, and for me, gluten-free, it's a bit more of a challenge.  Check out this YouTube clip of what one fitness trainer figures 2000 calories looks like (click here).

Regardless of whether you watch the clip or not, it's a lot of food.  I figure if I pace myself and fill the gaps in with snacks and a morning protein shake, I can hit the 2000 calorie goal by the end of the day.  Needless to say, I've got a self-appointed calorie counter who loves me very much and is watching what I eat AND what I don't eat ("Have you had breakfast yet??").

After my friend said that to me, I thought about what others must see.  I exercise very regularly and it probably looks like I'm heading for a specific weight goal.  Little does the outsider know that it's weight gain, not loss!  Being Osteopenic gives me a drive to increase my bone density, which is done not only through eating calcium/magnesium rich foods and taking supplements, but also by exercising regularly.  Knowing what I know, I avoid "crash"sports now, the ones where I'm likely to be physically smashed into, at least until I can get some more medical advice on what my bones can take.  I also try to fit in "impact" sports like tennis, running (which I substitute for skipping in private!), resistance weights, lunges and squats.  By doing this, I increase my need for calories even more.  It ends up being a bit of an endless circle and one that overwhelms me now and then.

At least now my body is absorbing nutrients now.  I no longer need a daily nap, although I sure can sleep a good hour on the weekends!!, my hair and skin are looking healthy, and I'm not losing any more weight.  Like I said, I'm trying.

I was talking to a friend yesterday, someone who hadn't yet heard about my diagnosis with Celiac, and he was genuinely interested in how the disease has affected me in the last few years, through diagnosis 5 months ago, until now.  During our conversation mention of this blog came up,  and as I talked about why I even started writing it, I realized that I haven't been writing about my journey with complete honesty.  This is a blog about a journey, and journeys always involve some level of difficulty.  I think ultimately I haven't wanted to write with "a little tiny man playing a violin on my shoulder" as my mom used to say, meaning I haven't wanted to sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself.  However, if there is even one person out there who reads this blog and benefits from hearing about the challenges of learning to live with Celiac, if one person out there realizes that all the turmoil in their head isn't exclusive to themselves, then I guess I need to write.

On that note, I think I'll just list randomly the kinds of things I deal with and sometimes how I don't deal with them very well.  That's probably the best way to begin.

*I love food: I love to bake; I enjoy photographing food being prepared, cooked, any kind of finished products; I love to smell food being prepared; I love tactile textures and colour contrasts; I love to try new recipes and to feed them to my friends and family. I could classify "chopping, dicing, slicing" as a hobby.  I don't know if I qualify as a Foodie, but I'm definitely a fan.  Some people just don't "get" that I've had a significant part of who I am taken away, with a gaping hole waiting to be filled with a new version of who that was.  I'm slowly working on filling that hole, but it's time consuming, frustrating, expensive and takes a lot of patience.
*there ARE gluten-free foods available in boxed form here in the Jakarta area.  For that I'm thankful.  However, not all of them are tasty, let alone delicious, and some are downright awful.  As I sift through various brands I try not to be picky, and some, like the lasagna noodles a friend bought me, taste 'normal.' Often I find a brand that works, and then it's no longer available on the shelves.  Very frustrating.
*The most difficult thing for me, I think, are social gatherings.  In no way do I expect anyone else to cater to my needs in any way, and I'm a big girl and can bring my own food, but sometimes, it's just really, really hard to listen to others discuss recipes, exclaim over how delicious a recipe is, and to just see loads of food spread before me knowing I can typically eat from one or two dishes.
*if I go to a social event where few people know I'm Celiac, it's very difficult to keep having to say no to well-meaning hostesses, and when they insist, having to figure out how to explain politely, in the least amount of words that I want to eat their food, but I just can't.
*It's a challenge not knowing if I'm truly healthy or not, and not having a way to find out.  I can look online and google all I want, yet when articles and advice begin to contradict each other, I'm on my own.  
*Apparently I'm supposed to have gained weight, but that's not happening.  I don't see that as a good thing.  I used to not mind being photographed, but now, I just like being on the viewfinder side of a camera.
*eating out sucks, and the further away I get from my diagnosis, the less we go out.  This affects our social life to a certain extent.
*figuring out what to eat is a bit of a pain, especially when I'm really hungry and there's no prepared items (gluten-free leftovers/cake/snacks) to eat.  I get tired of nuts and dried fruits, boiled eggs, and green salad topped with tuna.  Sometimes what I wouldn't do to be able to order a big, juicy burger and some fries!
*sometimes the things that go on in my head are too much.  I find that I struggle with bitterness, and I have to watch the path I allow my thoughts to take.

Life with Celiac isn't easy...but there are no guarantees, and life BEFORE Celiac wasn't super easy, either.  What I've shared here may not even seem that difficult, especially compared to some people's situations.  However, it is my life and what I'm experiencing.
Thanks for reading.

Big Huge Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

I KNOW that I just posted yesterday, but I'm so excited that I have successfully made some deliciously moist gluten-free chocolate chip cookies that I had to share the recipe immediately.  I wasn't sure what flour combination to use and didn't want to ruin yet another batch of baking, but was inspired by a wise man who once said "enjoy the process."  Actually, that great man was my husband, who was sitting on the couch watching me fret over how much it was going to cost me to make anything from the North American blogs that give me North American purchasing advice.  My solution was to take a flour mixture recipe recommended by a friend, and tweak it to include flours I have in my fridge.  Below the cookie recipe is the flour mix I used.  A little bit of flour from Australia, a little from Singapore, and some purchased in Jakarta. I realize this flour combination may not be one that can easily be repeated, but I'm pretty convinced that other flour combinations can be used in substitution.  Worse case scenario, you end up with a chocolatey flat cake, filled with chewy raisins and walnuts!

Gluten free and delicious!

Big, Huge, Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 ¼ cup mixed GF flour*

½ tsp baking soda

¼ tsp salt

½ tsp xanthan gum

¼ cup ground flax

½ cup butter

½ cup brown sugar

½ c white sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla

handful of each:  raisins, chocolate chips, chopped walnuts

Heat oven to 350 degrees (gas mark 4).

Sift the first 4 dry ingredients, then stir in flax.  Beat butter and sugars until fluffy, then add egg and vanilla.  If you are using an electric hand beater, switch to a wooden spoon and gently stir in chocolate chips, walnuts and raisins.

Spoon well-spaced, well-rounded onto parchment lined cookie sheets.  Bake 7-10 minutes, depending on your oven.  Cookies edges will be brown and center no longer shiny when done.  Remove from oven and cool just enough to be able to pick up the cookie with your fingers.  Eat and enjoy! 

Note:  Makes 8-10 big cookies, but rounds can be made smaller to stretch the dough.

*International All-Purpose Baking Flour (international because of where flours where bought):

1/2 cup sorghum flour

1/2 cup self-rising flour (from Australia...wasn't very good when used alone.  Rice/Maize flour based)

1 cup tapioca flour

1/2 cup cornstarch

1/2 cup white rice flour

For every cup of starch I've used 1 tablespoon of purple sweet potato flour (ie/ 3 cups mixed flour use 3 tbsp potato flour)  note:  you can substitute potato flour for the sweet potato flour

Another way to use this wonderfully purple flour!!  Cookies come out with a slight purple-green tinge but taste wonderful.

Boxed Pre-Mixes

Life is good, and so is pizza.  I'd forgotten how good until yesterday, when I whipped up a box of Orgran's pizza dough.  I'd actually been given the mixture about 3 months ago but kept putting off making it because I'd read online a few times about what a sticky mess pizza dough can be.  In actuality, it was no problem, and it took hardly any time at all to make.  After mixing the rice milk, sugar and yeast I added the oil, threw in the premixed dry ingredients, and stirred with a fork.  I kneaded the sticky dough a bit in my large stainless steel bowl, and then after dividing into two balls, I kneaded some more on a cornflour dusted slab of marble (the marble because my kitchen counter is made of tiles and the thought of kneading bread over the grout grosses me out).  One thing I noted for the future is that once the dough is kneaded, pat it gently from a ball into a flat round.  Before flattening it into a pizza shell, I placed it on the oiled pizza pan, because otherwise it crumbled when moved.  Once ready, I topped it with homemade gluten-free pizza sauce and lots of veggies.  Although cheese is on my list of oks, I still used only a little bit, mostly to hold the veggies on.

Another boxed mix that I've enjoyed lately is the Orgran gluten-free bread mix that can be made by hand or in a bread maker. Before, I always enjoyed dark breads but at this point white is all I've got and I'm determined to love it.  The first time I made it I didn't add any extras and I cut the pieces really fat, and I wasn't too crazy about the texture or taste.  The second time I added some flax and it turned out pretty nice.  After a few 'from scratch' disasters, I went back to the boxed mix.  I added an extra egg and about 1/4 cup of ground flax, and when I cut it to freeze it, I sliced it as thin as I could.  This worked best when cooled.  I don't know that I'd use this when travelling because I really only enjoy this bread toasted.  It's especially nice when hot and loaded with melted butter, then topped with orange marmalade.  It takes me a long time to eat a whole loaf myself, but the next time I make one I'll try and add a few nuts and see what happens.

I'm looking forward to bringing some flours back from Canada that I can use to make from-scratch bread.  So far the flours I've found here are mostly stale, or else I just think that they are stale and that's the way that they always taste.  Soon to find out!

Heavenly Cornbread

When I first started this blog it was my intention to try out new recipes and then post them.  The lack of recipes on here is a blazing indication of the lack of success that I've had with a lot of baking recipes.  Meals and sauces from scratch I can do, and I should post some of those.  However, I had a glimpse of success this last Sunday, when I combined a variety of recipes together and added a touch of my own to create what I now call Heavenly Cornbread.  This recipe comes on the tail of some very bitter, stale tasting homemade breads (which ended up in the trash), and after an overabundance of buckwheat-based pancakes and cakes, and so I swear, as I tasted my first bite, I heard angels singing.  S'truth!

Heavenly Cornbread

1 cup white rice flour

3/4 cup cornmeal (also called polenta)

3 Tablespoons of sugar

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon guar gum or xanthan gum

1 Tablespoon butter or bacon grease (or mix)

2 beaten eggs

1 cup milk

1/4 cup melted butter

Directions:

Preheat oven to 400 degrees (gas mark 6).

Mix dry ingredients in a medium mixing bowl. 

Melt the one tablespoon of butter/bacon fat and swirl to coat the bottom and insides of a round baking pan, or 8x8 inch square baking pan.  In a small bowl, combine the eggs, milk, and 1/4 cup butter. Add this mixture all at once to the flour mixture and stir until just moistened.

Bake for 15-20 minutes or until a wooden toothpick poked into the centre comes out clean. Serve warm with butter and honey.

This recipe is good for about 2 more days if kept in fridge and microwaved.

Substitutions:

I cannot use a lot of milk while I can still have butter, so I substituted rice milk for the milk.

Outside of Indonesia you can find dairy-free margarine, which you can substitute for the butter.

Suggestions:

Throw in a 1/8 cup ground or whole flax seeds for extra flavour.

May I take that back?

Twenty four hours from the last post and I've changed my mind.  Like I said earlier, I need to experiment and that is how I'm gaining knowledge and learning how to live with Celiac. I went to Burger King, ordered a bunless burger with fries, and 7 hours later posted that I felt great.  Having not eaten anything else even remotely suspicious between then and bedtime, I know that it's the BK food that kept waking me up all through last night, poking me with nauseousness and the rest of the kit that comes with eating gluten for me.  So, after contemplating whether or not I delete my last post or not, just in case another newby Celiac reads and decides to try the BK burger, I will leave it be with the warning:  bunless is NOT enough when it comes to the BK burger.  Since this is a record of my journey towards better health and greater knowledge, I'll leave the last post alone and stick with my BK fries next time.

Burger King

It's taken a few months to get up the nerve to walk into our local Burger King (yep, our local mall is full of American franchises) and ask for "satu Jr. Whopper, tanpa roti (one Jr Whopper without the bun).  Today I was so hungry and my day was so full that I figured it was worth a try if it meant getting something to fill the hole.  Without any medical advice here, and my nutritionist friend Chris has moved to the Philippines, I am pretty much my own advisor, so that means I need to experiment a little to get my answers.

When I placed my order, I was a little surprised that the girl at the till didn't blink an eye, and yelled back "NO BUN!!" (apparently my "tanpa roti" wasn't necessary!).  They even knew how to pack the sad little meat patty, so I figure there must be some no-carbs dieters somewhere out there who eat at BK.  It was a little tricky to eat the bun-less burger in my car as I headed to the next event on my list, but it didn't take me long to down my first 'burger' in 5 months.  Five months to the day, actually.  I've already eaten BK fries twice, with BK ketchup, without any symptoms that I can pinpoint.  Yet.  So, I now can add Burger King to my list of "Cans."  

I realize that each person is different, reactions and Celiac sensitivities are different, and probably each franchise location is different, but it's good to know that I can go to BK in our local mall now and enjoy lunch with my friends as they feed their kids.  Not sure I'm brave enough to try any other franchises yet, but I'll keep researching online and see what others have to say about those.

Note:  Twenty four hours later I've decided to change my mind about bunless BK burgers.  See next post.